By Jennifer Eulberg, MA, LPC
Sandhill offices are named with words above each door. Some included are laugh, play, be, courage, believe, and gratitude. I feel inspired by these words, taking moments here and there to contemplate how they each fit into my life.
When I first began my journey as an Independent Contractor with Sandhill, the main office I used was “Gratitude”. It was a perfect match for what I felt in joining the practice and starting a new life in the St. Louis area. Gratitude is something I practice for my own health and well-being and encourage its use to friends, family, and clients. I believe it is an honor to be a safe and comfortable place for people to share their intimate thoughts and feelings. I am grateful to those who have placed such trust in me. I treasure the opportunity to be a part of their journey.
Gratitude is a powerful tool; however, it is sometimes used in unhealthy ways. Does this sound familiar? “You should be grateful!” or “I have it better than most people, I need to be grateful and get over this.” These statements may be intended in a helpful way but the benefit isn’t there.
When we experience difficulties, our brain is processing and thinking about those struggles. Sometimes these thoughts are toward problem solving, sometimes they are related to disbelief, confusion, frustration and many others. We can often start to think hurtful things about ourselves. Those hurtful thoughts don’t usually lead to problem solving but just more hurtful thoughts.
Instead of an OR approach, I recommend an AND approach. For example, rather than saying to yourself, “I can feel upset OR I can feel grateful,” try saying, “I can feel upset AND grateful.” Feeling pain and struggling doesn’t mean you lack gratitude, it just means you are feeling pain and struggling too. Sometimes our brains get stuck in our struggle, our dislike of ourselves, and a belief that the world is out to get us. When we hurt, it is so difficult to turn things around. Perhaps adopting the “AND” approach can be a small step toward your healing.
